Is it as bad as we’ve been led to believe?
Recently I’ve been pondering the fact that most women in western society have been taught that menopause is something to dread.
Why is that? In my opinion, there are a few different reasons:
- Previous generations just didn’t talk about women’s bodily changes.
There is a sense of shame and regret about something that’s a natural part of being a woman (think puberty, menopause and all the hormonal changes in between). This has left generations of women feeling like they have something wrong with them because they’ve never heard other women talk about menopause, or if they have, it has been about the negative aspects. - During patriarchal reign, anything that men don’t experience is not considered important.
Until the current generation medicine, business, politics and even education have been dominated by men, therefore “women’s issues” were just not on the agenda. - There is also a sense of mystery (amongst men) about women’s bodies/hormones/cycles.
Most men don’t understand how it all works(and aren’t inclined to learn because masculine energy is all about dominance and control. How can they control something they know nothing about – best to just ignore this area of life. - Pharmaceutical companies make money out of all the “problems” of menopause
therefore it is not profitable to discuss the benefits of experiencing it as a natural, transformation. - Western society, in general, doesn’t recognise the value of women past reproductive age.
Menopausal women are a bit like children of our grandparents generation: people who are only allowed to be “seen but not heard”.
All this can not only be frustrating for older women, it can be isolating. Older women are already going through a cascade of emotions and hormonal ups and downs at this stage of their life. This lack of recognition on top of everything else can leave women feeling like they have no purpose or power.
But there is another option. Women who embrace their second half of life can experience a freedom they’ve never felt before. This is partly due to the decline of nurturing/mothering hormones they have had since puberty. Once they reach menopause women no longer feel so committed to looking after everyone else and (often for the first time in their life) they are putting their own needs first.
If you haven’t guessed already I’ve chosen the latter option. I’m putting my own needs first, the only problem is that in expanding my horizons, I have created so many options. I have started a pottery course, but I also love sewing, cycling, walking in nature and tending to my garden and pot plants (at last count I had almost 100 plants on my back deck). Now I have so many hobbies, new and old that I find it hard to fit it all in, along with my family, social and working life. Hmmm, how should I prioritize? – only time will tell…
If you are looking to discover the benefits of menopause and the transition to menopause (perimenopause), rather than fall for the old narrative, join me and a group of other like-minded women, sign-up to the next workshops series starting in July 2022. to find out more go to The Pause Effect.